I am giving myself 1 year to change everything. I have been unhealthy for about 10 years now and I think enough is enough. Its time to stop being afraid to change, afraid to commit and afraid to live my life. I cant let my weight hold me back any longer, and that is why I am embarking on this year long journey to discovering the girl in the fat suit, its time to unzip and become the smart, pretty, creative person that I know I can be, I just gotta step away from the cake and commit to 100% of myself to my goal of losing 100 lbs in 1year. That's right, I am giving myself 365 days to become a totally transformed human being. 1 year to lose the weight, change my eating habits and maybe become a better athlete in the process.
A little bit about me-
I am a 21 year old student, currently studying Interior Design and Architecture in Alberta Canada. I have lovely parents and one brother, who are conveniently super skinny and athletic. I am the one black sheep of my family. I stick out like a sore thumb because of my weight, and deep down I have always resented how easy it is for the rest of my family to stay stick thin while eating whatever they want. This has made for a long few years of hiding my body, pretending to work out and eat healthy while also gaining more and more weight.
When I was young I was always thin, I had no problem with food or exercise and I was a very active person. But as I grew into my teens I started to realise that I was "growing" wider than I was taller, and that I was starting to become bigger than the other kids in my grade, and by the time I was 16, I weighed about 190 lbs. My mom, being the skinny biotch that she is, started grilling me in the car one day. She started yelling and complaining that I was gaining weight too quickly and that if I didn't do something about it, I would be too far gone and not worthy of anybodies help. I of course had a break down and started sobbing to a point of almost throwing up, and the hard part was that I knew she was right, I just no longer knew what to do to save myself. So the next day, my mom dragged me into our local Herbal Magic and signed me up for the program. It started going very well and I actually lost about 20 pounds, and I thought I had finally found a solution and that I was going to be ``cured``of my fatness. Then I began to get lazy, I stopped going in for my weigh ins and I slowly started to develop my old habits again. See, I have this thing where after I lose a bunch of weight I get totally complacent, I stop weighing myself, I stop working out and I completely lose track of everything I accomplished, this leads me to gain back everything I lost, and then some.
Last September I weighed 256.6 lbs at my heaviest. I started a weight loss plan that was actually quite effective, and I began a running program that helped me to lose almost 40 lbs. Around Christmas the food sort of threw me off track and I lost all touch with my initial goals, this started me on a path to gaining it all back. I am now back up to 260 lbs, and needless to say I am ready for a more permanent change. All I need is a little will power, some motivation and a serious amount of determination. I also need to make sure everything I choose to do is realistic and can be implemented for the rest of my life. I am definitely not willing to eat 1200 calories a day for the rest of my life and I wont be working out 24-7, so I don't see the point in starving myself and going crazy for a few months. I want to do this the healthy way, I want to change my life because the one I have is no longer working for me.
I am hoping that this blog will help me to break the cycle. I want it to help keep me accountable while also giving me a place to vent. I want to post my weekly weigh ins, my struggles and my triumphs so that when this is all over I can look back and see the changes I have made, and see the person I used to be, and use it for inspiration to never let it happen again. Because let me tell you, where I am now is not a good place, and I never want to be here again.
-the girl in the fat suit
No comments:
Post a Comment